updated 01/02/2014 AT 5:00 PM ET
•originally published 01/03/2014 AT 11:30 AM ET
Beyoncé says it was important to get back in touch with her sexy side after she gave birth to her daughter, Blue Ivy, in 2012, and while she did that with a series of raunchy videos and explicit lyrics on her surprise new self-titled album, there’s a part of her that feels a little red-faced about some of the things she sang about.
In her fourth YouTube mini-documentary, Liberation, which accompanies the visual album she released in December, the singer-songwriter, 32, admits that there’s one song in particular – “Partition” – that is so X-rated she’s embarrassed to play it for her mom, Tina Knowles.
“It takes me back to being in my car as a teenager. It takes me back to when me and my husband first meet, and he tries to scoop me and he thinks I’m the hottest thing in the world,” she says. “I kinda had this whole fantasy of being in the car, and this whole movie played in my head. I didn’t have a pen and paper. I got to the mic, I’m like, ‘Oh, press Record.’ Starts singing Driver roll up the partition please, I don’t need you seeing ‘yoncé on her knees ”
“I was so embarrassed after I recorded the song because I’m just talking s–––,” she says. “I’m like, ‘I can’t play this for my husband!’ I still haven’t played it for my mom. She’s going to be very mad at me.”
And just wait till Mama Knowles sees the video, which features her little girl writhing on a stage at the Crazy Horse nightclub while her cigar-smoking hubby, Jay Z, watches.
“The day that I got engaged was my husband’s birthday and I took him to Crazy Horse and I remember thinking, ‘Damn, these girls are fly,’ ” she explains. “I just thought it was the ultimate sexy show I’ve ever seen. And I was like, ‘I wish I was up there. I wish I could perform that for my man,’ so that’s what I did for the video.”
The singer says it was important to show off her post-baby body in the videos.
“I was very aware of the fact that I was showing my body,” she said. “I was 195 lbs. when I gave birth. I lost 65 lbs. I worked crazily to get my body back. I wanted to show my body. I wanted to show that you can have a child and you can work hard and you can get your body back.”
“Just because you become a mother it doesn’t mean you lose who you are.”