11/19/2013 AT 12:00 PM ET
Lady Gaga hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend and while it was everything that we’d hoped for (plus an R. Kelly duet we didn’t dare to dream of) we still wanted more. Luckily, SNL has released an unaired sketch from the show – and it’s a good one.
In the clip, when scurvy – or, according to the voice-over, perhaps herpes – plagues the men of a whaling town, the womenfolk take over the helm of their mighty ship, staffed with an all-female crew that includes Kate McKinnon sporting a full beard. On their sailing adventures, they spy some sea sirens, make a stowaway “catwalk the plank” as Gaga shouts in the background, “Work, b****,” and even manage to squeeze in a twist on a classic sea shanty: “What do we do with a drunken sailor? Hold her hair while she pukes.”
But Gaga isn’t just having fun in this sketch. She’s out for revenge and steering the boat straight for a Moby Dick stand-in called Moby Puss, a white whale who unforgivably borrowed Gaga s earrings and never gave them back. Adding insult to injury, the dreadful whale then started dating the pop star s ex-boyfriend, Doug.
That pesky mammal must be stopped and if there’s anyone for the job, it’s Captain Gaga.
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